Do you ever have a day where you’re incredibly irritated and you have no idea why? Yea, that was yesterday. Normally I enjoy e-learning days because I don’t have to get up early, the kids get to sleep in, and they get to enjoy their time off of school. For some reason, yesterday had me so on edge and I just couldn’t figure out why.

My oldest boy had his cousin over again for a sleepover and those two were so wonderful. They played and laughed and just enjoyed sweet cousin time. I was so happy that they got to spend two whole days together. They got along beautifully.

My son took breaks in between playing video games so that he could complete his e-learning homework. I’m guessing this is probably where some of the stress and irritation came into play.

My son, bless his beautiful heart, is super emotional and can be quite vocal. I think he’s trying to figure out his independence and what he can get away with. He can be oh so super sweet and then this attitude comes out of no where and I’m taken aback by his abrupt change in behavior. Sometimes I handle it well and I’m able to recognize that he’s trying to figure life out. And of course there are times like yesterday when I make a parenting choice that probably doesn’t help his behavior. You know what I’m talking about. The best way I can explain it would be to use the phrase “Oh no you didn’t.” Excuse me? What did you just say to me? I know you didn’t just get an attitude with me. I know you weren’t talking to me with that mouth.

You get the idea.

We worked through it and after a few stern words and some “time out” in a chair, he was able to regroup and get his work done and go back to hanging out with his cousin. To be honest, I don’t even like the idea of “time outs” because it’s like telling a child to sit down and shut up for a certain amount of time until they no longer feel the need to share their feelings or opinions. Shutting a child up just tells them that they aren’t important and that it’s more important for them to follow our demands. Keep your emotions to yourself because I’m the adult and I’m in charge here. I can’t imagine how the child feels during that time.

Like I said, I don’t always make the right parenting choices. I’m human and sometimes it just seems easier to play the “time out” card. Trying to remember that these tiny humans I’m raising are in fact people with real emotions and real thoughts and they do deserve respect just like anyone else would. Sometimes as parents we tend to forget that we shouldn’t spout off demands or orders just because we are the parents. We wouldn’t want someone doing that to us, right? We won’t succeed everyday, but the goal is to improve every chance we get.

My children are learning how to navigate this world just as I was when I was a kid. We have to remember that our kids will be grouchy and irritated and emotional and angry just like we are as adults sometimes. We need to allow them the freedom to have those feelings and let them work through them. It’s OK for all of us to have these feelings. As adults, it’s our responsibility to give our children a safe place to express those feelings without tearing them down, or making them feel that their feelings aren’t that important. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone telling me yesterday that I needed to get over my irritations, or snap out of my bad mood. I would have been so offended if someone would have put me in time out because I had an attitude, or I happened to express irritation. Why is it ok for us as adults to express those emotions, but it’s not ok for kids? It needs to be ok for them as well.

No one scolded me yesterday because I was grouchy or irritated. No one yelled at me because I didn’t do what I was told. I kept to myself most of the day because that’s what I needed. Kids need that just as much as adults do and sometimes they need it more than we do. Kids don’t know how to work through their emotions as well as adults do. We need to allow them time to work through things.

We have to allow our children to feel. We have to allow our children to be grouchy and irritated and emotional because if we are always shutting them up then they won’t have any idea how to sort through their feelings when they are adults.

Each day is a new day. We will fail. Just keep trying. And if you think a time out is in order, feel free to grab some wine and sit yourself in the time out chair. Just make sure there’s another adult around to help you out while you’re sitting and thinking about your choices lol